As a child, I remember my legs hurting from time-to-time and
my mom would explain to me that the discomfort was caused by growing
pains. The skin and muscles were
stretching as the bones grew. With this
only being temporary pain, it was something I did not forget. After fifteen years of ministry, there are
many things that have stretched my soul and emotions that I would explain as
growing pains.
Now, every minister has experienced painful encounters in
the church as a result of ministering; however, I would like to share some personal
growing pains. Growth is not always fun;
and although sometimes painful; the Holy Spirit convicts us in order to mature
us. Sure I have battle scars as a result
of ministry; and yes, each confrontation has shaped me, but I find that when
God reveals my personal faults, that this type of lesson is better learned and is
more fruitful in my life and ministry. God
often shapes me through daily Bible reading as He opens my eyes, mind, and
heart; but I would like to share some other events that have shaped me in this
article.
Some of the major events in my life include getting married,
having children, getting an education, and being called to shepherd some great
people that God has placed in my path. I
consider these events major, because the listed events have led to many other
great event in my life.
Getting married has taught me (and is still teaching me) how
to share life with others. I typically
enjoyed my isolation growing up – doing things my way, when I wanted to do them
– but marriage has broken down the wall of isolation and forced me to let
people into my life and share life with them.
Being blessed with four children – and each one being
different – each child has contributed to the way that I think about life. For the purpose of this newsletter, one
significant lesson from having children is understanding what other people are
saying when it comes to children. Generally,
most people say the same things, just everyone seems to say it in a different
manner. Understanding this has allowed
me to encourage others in parenting and being involved in their child’s life.
Getting an education has broadened my vocabulary and allowed
me to define the things that God has been doing throughout my life. Education has also deepened my passion and
love for the one true and holy God. And
lastly my education has broadened my ability to think logically over difficult
areas of Scripture. While applying this logical
thinking to life, in turn gives way to better leading. Although we should never stop learning, I am
still internalizing all that has been taught over the past 6 ½ years of school.
Shepherding many great people over the last fifteen years
has actually shaped me more than I have been able to shape them. Seeing real people that have real hurts awakens
me to the realization that life is much bigger than my own. This realization has driven me to my knees
before the throne of God. Now realizing that
the problems that we face are much bigger than we can handle, I have now become
more dependent upon the sovereign God of the universe. Learning to walk with hurting people in the
midst of tragedy, is humbling and has deepened my faith.
Another lesson for me that I have learned from shepherding
great people is that most of the time, those who have walked through life are a
lot wiser than me. Even though they may have
reached out for my opinion, the reality is that they have the answer and are
trying to do their part in developing me into a pastor. Upon this realization, their patience with
me, care for me, and willingness to listen to me has flooded my soul with great
appreciation.
But this article was birthed out of another stage of life
that has grown me a little more. This stage
of life is walking through my oldest daughter’s senior year. Unconsciously, I have attempted to be at
every Cross Country meet and softball game.
But by trying to balance time with my other three kids and being
faithful and obedient to the call of God, I have fallen short in several areas. Although I have a higher expectation of
myself than others may, I truly feel that I have let some people down. But it wasn’t until I actually spoke the
words that the lesson became reality for me; and those words were, “I have a
senior this year and I will not be able to commit to that.”
Hearing myself say those words began a flood of
emotion. The emotions were not necessarily
over my daughter growing up; well, because…that is why we have kids, to rear
them and give them the best chance to succeed in life as an adult. But the emotion that I was feeling was anger
at myself and the attitude that would develop when I heard others say these
same words.
Every time I would hear someone else say these words, I would
categorize them and become somewhat aggravated. Although I would not verbalize nor hold a
grudge toward others when they would not follow through on a commitment; I would
however, think to myself that any true commitment requires sacrifice.
Let’s just say that I have matured again. Although some may think, “It’s about time”,
please know that I desire to mature a little more every day. After actually typing the words of this
article, admittedly, I was reminded of the numerous ways that God has matured me. And having probably exceeded your attention
span, let me quickly share the latest lesson that God has taught me.
During my prayer time, I mostly pray for others rather than
myself. Actually I usually only pray, “God,
allow me to see as you see, think as you think, hear as you hear, and love as
you love” when praying for myself. I
firmly believe that a prayer such as this is according to God’s will, and God
is more apt to answer a prayer that is according to His will. But in praying this, I firmly believe that
God has opened my mind because I have asked Him to do so. And each time God opens my mind, I mature a
little more.
So, over the years, if I have made you feel as if I was
aggravated or displeased with you over something, first please forgive me. I am
very task oriented and progress driven.
Second, know that I am a work in progress. A work in progress that is actually working
in the progress.
